“Is This What’s Missing From Your Life Too?”
I Had a Great Week—But Something Still Felt Off
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been delving into my experience with Reverse Therapy. It’s been genuinely enlightening—not in a dramatic, “fixed everything” way, but in prompting me to notice how I’m living.
One recurring theme has been balance. Or more accurately—the lack of it.
Here’s What My Days Look Like
This is my typical weekday schedule. See if it resonates:
6:45 AM Get up
7:00 AM Meditate / Yoga
7:30 AM Social media work
8:00 AM Help my youngest daughter get ready for school
8:30 AM Walk/Run
9:00 AM–12:00 PM ‘Deep work’ – Writing or Clients
12:00 PM Lunch
1:00 PM–4:00 PM ‘Lighter work’ – Meetings / Emails / Patients
5:00 PM Cook dinner
6:00 PM Eat dinner as a family
6:30 PM–8:30 PM Children/Adults to clubs or sports
8:30 PM–9:00 PM Collecting people
9:00 PM Relax with Netflix with my wife
10:00 PM Sleep
While some days vary, this schedule is broadly accurate. There’s a lot of work. A lot of doing. A lot of “being productive.”
After a recent therapy session, one question struck me:
Where is the fun here?
Where is the spontaneity? The lightness? The joy?
The Myth of Either/Or: Why We Get Balance So Wrong
I began reflecting more on balance—not just conceptually, but practically.
We often think in extremes:
- Sedentary vs. Exercise
- Processed vs. Whole Food
- Teetotal vs. Drunk
- Work vs. Play
- Busy vs. Asleep
- Winning vs. Losing
- Detached vs. Emotional
But these aren’t true opposites. They’re not fixed points. They’re sliding scales. Culturally, we’ve been conditioned to favor one end—the productive, controlled, successful end.
Even symbols of balance, like the yin/yang, remind us that true equilibrium requires both energies in play. Light and dark. Doing and being.
When I operate solely on one end—being useful, organized, controlled—I lose the elements that make life vibrant.
Where Did Joy Go?
Lately, I’ve been wondering: When did I stop being spontaneous?
I observe my kids laughing with friends, playing, inventing games. There’s a lightness in them. When did that disappear in adulthood?
And more importantly—is there still room for it now?
What I’m Trying This Week (And You Can Too)
Here are three small but impactful changes I’ve started implementing—nothing groundbreaking, but they’ve already made a difference:
1. The “Have To” vs. “Want To” List
Each night, I jot down:
- My key “I have to” items for tomorrow—work, home admin, life tasks.
- Up to three “I want to” items.
These might include:
- Time on my allotment
- Lunch with a friend
- A bike ride with my kids
- A date night with my wife
These aren’t grand adventures. But simply having a few things in the day that are for me, that I want—makes all the difference.
2. Watch Something Funny
I’m dedicating—literally 5 minutes—to watch a clip that makes me laugh. Not “worthy” TED Talks or productivity hacks. Just something funny.
Laughter isn’t trivial—it’s therapeutic. Research indicates it releases endorphins and can even elevate pain thresholds, contributing to social bonding and overall well-being citeturn0search2.
Need inspiration? Clips from Last One Laughing on Amazon are excellent.
3. Do Something Spontaneous
This one is more challenging—but it works. I’ve started playing the piano again. It wasn’t planned. One afternoon, my attention was drifting, and I sat down and began learning Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen / Tim Buckley). And I felt… better. Every time I do it, I feel better.
Why This Matters (And What the Research Says)
The science supports what I’m experiencing. The broaden-and-build theory posits that positive emotions broaden our momentary thought-action repertoires, which in turn build our enduring personal resources.
Additionally, studies have shown that social laughter correlates with an elevated pain threshold, suggesting that laughter, through an endorphin-mediated effect, plays a crucial role in social bonding and resilience.
It’s not about abandoning responsibility. It’s about reintroducing wholeness.
Want to Explore This in Your Own Life?
I offer a free 1:1 Men’s Mind call—no pressure, just a safe space to reflect on your balance, your stress, and what might help you. It’s completely free.
👉 Click here to book your call
Next Time: The Biology of Balance—How It Shapes Your Brain and Body
References
- Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 359(1449), 1367–1377.
- Dunbar, R. I. M., Baron, R., Frangou, A., Pearce, E., van Leeuwen, E. J. C., Stow, J., Partridge, G., MacDonald, I., Barra, V., & van Vugt, M. (2012). Social laughter is correlated with an elevated pain threshold. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 279(1731), 1161–1167.