Dr Ed Rainbow
“I realised I can enjoy life. But, I was the only person who could make this happen.” – Dr Ed Rainbow
The great thing is anyone can do this. Let me help you know you.
Been there, done that
I’d struggled before, but this time was different. The exhaustion, concentration, inability to do things was there permanently. I didn’t enjoy my job, time with my family, my life. I didn’t really feel anything.
I’ve always had times when it was hard to get going in the morning. I’d manage to get to Friday, have a few beers, and then start up again the next week.
I’m a GP, and would hear people’s mental health difficulties daily. Now, I couldn’t do that any more. As the voice in my head said ‘You are more ill than them’.
I stopped working, I couldn’t do anything. I felt guilty, a failure. I’d let down my colleagues, my patients, my family, everyone.
And then I did something I had never done before as an adult.
I asked for help. For me.
I didn’t understand. Getting ill was for other people, not for me.
I didn’t know a great many things: What makes someone healthy and happy, why they become mentally unwell. This is not something I had learned at Medical school, or in life.
With family and professional help I now better understand myself. Who I am. What is important to me. Which labels I had acquired that were me and those which were not. When I am productive, creative, thoughtful, funny, intelligent. When I am not and I need to rest. How I feel inside, what I experience, what it means. Who I am.
I also earned also what could be done to improve and maintain mental well-being.
I stopped doing things that made me ill. I quit my well paid Partnership. I stopped working all the time. I stopped thinking money was everything, and success was a series of external rewards. I stopped drinking so much, so often. I learned to recognise when I was criticising myself, and what to do about it.
I stopped living someone else’s life. I was suddenly in charge.
I did more things to be healthy based on scientific evidence. Exercising more. Eating healthier. Getting enough sleep. Learning to relax. Learning to have fun again. Working when it suited me. Doing jobs I enjoyed. Loving my wife and family. Seeing my friends again. Learning how I work inside, what it tells me, when things area going well, when they are not. I learned how to know and be in charge of me.
I realised I can enjoy life.
But, I was the only person who could make this happen.
You can do this too…