Why I share my experiences of mental health with men

This week I’ll be talking about my own experiences.

I don’t do this to pretend there’s a magic answer, we all have a different path we need to take.  I do this to share as I believe that there aren’t enough men talking about the difficulties they’ve faced.

1. Men can struggle being open and sharing their mental health

There aren’t enough role models around mental health and men.  This is because of stigma (what I term ‘negative masculinity’) which makes it a threat to be exposed as having problems.  This in turn causes some men to be reluctant to seek help

I thought I’d start with some thoughts about my own experiences to try and break down this stigma

2. I’ve been through lows

There have been some real lows in the past few years.  

Suicidality which I suffered alone for months on end.

As was the realisation the dream job I’d spent over 10 years preparing myself for was anything but.

Revisiting traumas and learning to have a more healthy relationship with them – impossiblej situations as being in a hospital full of dying people

Seeing the terrible sadness of losing my dad before I ever really knew him.

Facing up to the realisation that I had been driven by fear and shame for a great deal of my life.

Feeling so low I could barely move out of bed for weeks

Feeling so paranoid I struggled to trust anyone.

3. There have been some real highs

Stopping working & deciding something different needed to happen

Seeking help – something I’d never done before.

Letting go of guilt – realising the situations I was in were not my fault, but more widely driven by society.

Accepting that it’s ok for things not to go your way.

Telling a friend that I was struggling.

Being open with my wife about being suicidal.

Realising that I had needs and that it was OK to meet them.

Seeing my job made me mentally ill.

Changing how I led my life to be healthier.

Understanding who I am to be more aligned.

Being thankful for the things which make life worth living.

Finding new roles which mean I can be myself, help others and stay in control of my mental health

4. What helped me could help you.

I’ve been fortunate to be able to change things that have improved my mental health.  I’ve done this through experimentation, learning about myself and learning about the science of mental health.  I was fortunate that I was supported to do this without medication.

Something on the list above might help you too.  But this isn’t a tick box exercise.  There’s no magic wand.

But, once you want to change, and try to, something incredible starts happening.  You feel a bit better, you want to try more things.  There is a way out.

If you want to have a free conversation with me to Master you Mind.

Until next week

Best wishes


When you’re ready, I have two ways to help.

1. My 1:1 Coaching is for you if you have a concerns about your mental health, don’t want to try medications (or are on them and they aren’t working), but don’t know what to do next.  I can suggest an individualised plan which is acceptable to you.  Click for a free 1:1 call to learn more.

2. My Men’s Mind Compass is a holistic look at your life and mental health.  I show you where you can make improvements to the 10 key areas to improve your mental health, and will support you regularly through this process.  Click for a free 1:1 call with me to explore more.

If you’re new to the Men’d Mind GP & would like to join Men’s Mind Monday community newsletter, and have found it useful, please sign up here.  It would be great to have you in the team!

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