Tired of the Juggling Act? Simple Solutions for Lasting Work-Life Balance
Balancing a demanding career with the responsibilities of family life is a challenge many middle-aged hard working men face. If you’ve been struggling with longstanding mental health issues, achieving work-life balance might feel even more elusive. The constant juggling act can lead to a sense of burnout, anxiety, and the feeling that you’re falling short in both your professional and personal life. But the good news is, there’s a way to regain control and find a healthier balance that supports both your career and mental well-being.
Today I’m going to explore why this is a problem, a different view on work-life balance and what you can do to start to solve your current issues.
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You’re burning the candle at both ends
As a high-achieving man, you’ve likely spent years prioritizing your career, working long hours, and pushing yourself to meet the demands of your job. Meanwhile, the responsibilities at home continue to grow. Over time, this imbalance can take a significant toll on your mental health. The stress of trying to meet everyone’s expectations, coupled with the guilt of not being fully present for your family, can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. The relentless pressure to perform on all fronts can make it difficult to enjoy life, leaving you feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.
Failing to address this work-life imbalance can have far-reaching consequences. Research has shown that chronic stress and poor work-life balance can lead to burnout, decreased job satisfaction, and strained relationships with loved ones. In the long term, the effects on your mental and physical health can be severe, increasing the risk of conditions like heart disease, depression, and anxiety disorders. Moreover, the impact extends beyond your own well-being; it can affect your family, your career, and your overall quality of life.
The idea of work-life balance can just feel like a lie, and impossible goal.
2. You’ve tried to change, but it hasn’t worked.
You might have tried different strategies to improve your work-life balance—setting boundaries, delegating tasks, or even taking time off. While these steps can provide temporary relief, they often fall short of delivering lasting change. The reason? They address the symptoms rather than the root cause of the imbalance. Without a deeper understanding of what drives your work habits and how to integrate healthier practices into your daily routine, these solutions can feel like plasters on a much larger issue.
My own experiences of pushing myself to be more available to more people (patients, colleagues, students, trainees) as well as my wife and kids, alongside an ever increasing want of chasing money led me down a path of burnout, depression and anxiety.
I recall one man I worked with, Mike (not his real name) was the same. He’d entered into the financial industry as a young man. As he gained promotions into middle and upper management, he’d also got married and had a family. Then, over years, he found himself feeling increasingly depressed and suicidal. When we picked apart why this was, it turned out his work was in an area that he wasn’t that skilled at and didn’t enjoy doing
3. The solution? Work-Life enrichment…
We need a different approach. I came across this interesting piece of research about work-family enrichment (Reference 1) which may hold the key. It considers how gaining different roles in life can be healthy, rather than draining
- 1. Satisfaction in life in one area can permeate to another. This seems sensible, if things are going well, you have more energy for enjoying life and growth
- 2. Similarly, distress in one can be buffered against positive experiences in another. There is always positivity to be found. Many men find spending time with their children doing an enjoyable activity therapeutic
- 3. Personal growth in one area helps another. I’m a better dad through using coaching and mentoring skills with my kids. This happens by asking them reflective questions, getting them to seek their own independence and autonomy – making their own meals, tidying up after themselves and so on.
- 4. One further idea (Reference 2) is that you need to understand yourself to get to the point of life satisfaction. Those who are more mindful have a better work-life balance, sleep and energy levels.
I use my Foundation Five approach to help plot where men need to take the next steps to gain their work-life enrichment.
You can do this yourself.
Get a piece of paper out, make a table like below
Fill it in with all elements of your life – work, family, exercise, anything that comes to mind
Then use the more and less approach…
What steps can you take to have more in the + and less of the -?
Try something simple. Make a change. See how it goes. Then try another. They add up as the days and weeks pass.
Personally, I have very little in my life that drains me now. Over 5 years I’ve made that many changes that I’m largely very happy with my life. It brings a smile to my face to say that. There’s no magic, just considered action.
4. Start to enrich your life…
It is possible to have sustained long term mental health improvement. You need to know what to do, and then do it. If you’d like to work with me for extra accountability, please reach out for a free conversation with me to Master you Mind.
Until next week
Best wishes
Ed
P.S. I’m currently creating a new online course, the ‘The Purpose Blueprint: Identify Your Path and Start Living with Meaning’. Sign up here for early, free access. Thanks.
P.P.S. If you’ve found this helpful, and know someone you feel would benefit from being on the Men’s Mind Monday team, please forward the email to them.
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When you’re ready, I have two ways to help.
1. My 1:1 Coaching is for you if you have a concerns about your mental health, don’t want to try medications (or are on them and they aren’t working), but don’t know what to do next. I can suggest an individualised plan which is acceptable to you. Click for a free 1:1 call to learn more.
2. My Men’s Mind Compass is a holistic look at your life and mental health. I show you where you can make improvements to the 10 key areas to improve your mental health, and will support you regularly through this process. Click for a free 1:1 call with me to explore more.
References:
- Greenhaus, J. H., & Powell, G. N. (2006). When work and family are allies: A theory of work-family enrichment. Academy of Management Review, 31(1), 72-92.
- Allen, T. D., & Kiburz, K. M. (2012). Trait mindfulness and work-family balance among working parents: The mediating effects of vitality and sleep quality. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 80(2), 372-379.